My son played basketball this past season. It was an absolute thrill to watch he and his teammates develop their skills over the course of the 3-month season. He will be thirteen in a few weeks and is looking me in the eye – I’m six feet tall! 

The thing I’m most proud of is that even though the team finished the season with a 1-12 record, they kept their heads up with a positive attitude and went into each game hoping to pull out a win. They had so much more to celebrate than the score – personal improvements in shooting, ball handling, and defense, becoming better teammates, and a sense of resilience that cannot be learned any other way than through experiencing adversity. 

At each game, everyone in the gymnasium had a role in shaping how those kids felt about the game and their season. 

The coaches.
Every coach in the local travel league is a volunteer, usually a parent. Some have lots of experience coaching basketball, while others have very little. Some take it seriously and intensely seek every point scored, while others are there to make sure the kids learn something, exhibit good sportsmanship, and above all else, have fun. My son said that he enjoyed his coach this year and looks forward to next year because the coach made practicing fun.

The parents & families
Parents cheer for every kid on the team and are there when things go wrong, whether that’s a sports injury, a uniform mishap, or a comfort zone to handle the emotions of the game. They’re also there to advocate for their kid to ensure fair playing time and positive interactions with the coaches and referees. 

This year I did ‘the book’ which means that I really had to pay attention to every point, foul, and time out for both teams on the court. That didn’t stop me from cheering on the team – and shouting ‘box out, d-up, help out, great work’ and other cheers from the score table. I loved being an extended part of the team and simply showing up for my kid. 

The referees.
The best referees this season understood that they were officiating a youth game. And, they took on the role of extra coach and mentor on the court by teaching the kids what went wrong, where to be on the court, and how to play within the rules of the game. While some referees took it more seriously than others. The ones who smiled throughout the game and helped players learn more about it were the absolute best. 

The worst interaction I witnessed this season was when an out-of-towncoach of a team who won by at least 20 points, wanted to tell the referee how to do her job. After the game, when the coach approached her, the referee told him that she did not wish to have a conversation with him and walked away. The coach pursued her, effectively cornered her in the gym, and began telling her what he had on his mind. I could not hear the conversation, but from where I sat, (at the score table) he was way out of line. 

Whether we are coaching, parenting, or refereeing, our main job in that gym is to set a good example for the players on how to treat others during a highly emotional experience. When one of us gets out of line, it’s up to the rest of us to make sure the kids know how to recognize the right thing to do. That’s why the first conversation our family had in the car on the way home from that game wasn’t about who won or lost, but rather how to behave when someone clearly does not want to have a conversation with you.

According to Malcom Gladwell it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become anexpert at anything, but how many hours does it take to feel a few wins? I think the answer goes beyond hours of practice – it takes a special mix of hard work, desire, and a supportive community to help the kids achieve their goals.

If your child is interested in sharpening their basketball skills over the summer, check Watertown Basketball School’s Summer Program.